Classin' it up, as usual.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
the oscars, etc.
So, the biggest news of the Oscars is that they're going to be green. Seriously? What is the academy going to do? Turn the lights out during the commercial break? Does anyone have any idea what they plan to do? Or should everyone start collectively ignoring anything anyone from L.A. ever says? I think I'll do the latter starting... now. Other than all that bullshit, I have nothing else to say about the Oscars. I only saw two and three fourths of the movies nominated. I totally slept through the ending of Little Miss Sunshine, not because I was bored, but because I was on sleep inducing drugs. And I was bored. Maybe I'll start going to more movies. Meh.
What else? The other day, I was talking to my friend-who I will call B.*- about Brooke Hogan. And I said that Brooke Hogan looks like a football player wearing a blond slut suit and B. laughed. And then B. told me today that he riffed off my joke and said that Brooke Hogan looks like Venus Williams is wearing an Anna Nicole Smith suit. Really though, I thought my version was better, simply because B's version was way too topical/disorienting. Why am I typing out all of this? Oh, because I said a funny thing today to B. and he said that he'd only use the joke after I use it/claim ownership of the joke in a public place (my blog), but now I've totally forgotten it! I guess he deserves the joke.
*I realize that some of my friends may not want their identity revealed, although B. is totally one that would, but my mission in life is to take away anything that will make B. happy so... no full name here sucka!
What else? The other day, I was talking to my friend-who I will call B.*- about Brooke Hogan. And I said that Brooke Hogan looks like a football player wearing a blond slut suit and B. laughed. And then B. told me today that he riffed off my joke and said that Brooke Hogan looks like Venus Williams is wearing an Anna Nicole Smith suit. Really though, I thought my version was better, simply because B's version was way too topical/disorienting. Why am I typing out all of this? Oh, because I said a funny thing today to B. and he said that he'd only use the joke after I use it/claim ownership of the joke in a public place (my blog), but now I've totally forgotten it! I guess he deserves the joke.
*I realize that some of my friends may not want their identity revealed, although B. is totally one that would, but my mission in life is to take away anything that will make B. happy so... no full name here sucka!
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
things I don't want to admit:
1. I think Sienna Miller is super fine, like SUPER FINE.
2. Up until 13 minutes ago I had no clue who Sienna Miller was or what she was famous for. I figured a model, actress, singer or some glorious hybrid of those three(?).
3. I am really mad at Bravo. It all started when Jeffrey "Hot Topic" Sebelia won Project Runway. And then they sort of won me back when they started airing Six Feet Under, but now they've kind of taken a HUGE shit all over the good they've done with the losing combo of bequething the title of Top Chef onto Ilan (I would have preferred any of the other finalists over him) and Top Design. Double finger to Bravo.
4. There is something floating around in my water. Yuck. I'm still drinking it though.
5. I think I like Sarah Silverman's show on Comedy Central, which leads me directly to...
6. Dick and fart jokes get me everytime.
2. Up until 13 minutes ago I had no clue who Sienna Miller was or what she was famous for. I figured a model, actress, singer or some glorious hybrid of those three(?).
3. I am really mad at Bravo. It all started when Jeffrey "Hot Topic" Sebelia won Project Runway. And then they sort of won me back when they started airing Six Feet Under, but now they've kind of taken a HUGE shit all over the good they've done with the losing combo of bequething the title of Top Chef onto Ilan (I would have preferred any of the other finalists over him) and Top Design. Double finger to Bravo.
4. There is something floating around in my water. Yuck. I'm still drinking it though.
5. I think I like Sarah Silverman's show on Comedy Central, which leads me directly to...
6. Dick and fart jokes get me everytime.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
job-ish related matters
So, in addition to volunteering at 826NYC and working for Neil G., I have just begun (2 days ago, so I'm fressssh) interning at Gawker. Point of this post: I am writing Blogorrhea NYC and I wanted to bring this to your attention, because I would love to know about your hilarious/awesome blog or (a) hilarious/awesome blog(s) you read. Please email links to me at jacquegawker@gmail.com.
Also, now that I am blogging more and more, Haley has started referring to my boobs as bloobs., which has to be documented here simply because it's the funniest thing she's said all year.
Also, now that I am blogging more and more, Haley has started referring to my boobs as bloobs., which has to be documented here simply because it's the funniest thing she's said all year.
Monday, January 22, 2007
great crack addict and/or meth addict names list:
- hot dog
- snowcone or snocone
- trixie
- door stop
- whitney houston
more to come!
- snowcone or snocone
- trixie
- door stop
- whitney houston
more to come!
Monday, January 15, 2007
The votes are in...
"The L Word" = the biggest flaming pile of turd on T.V. EASILY.
I don't know if the interns are writing the fourth season or what, but oh my god, it's like being hit in the head with a bag of bricks-repeatedly. Ilene Chaiken, the whole cast (minus Jennifer Beals, what do you want from me? she's a MANIAC on the floor and always will be), the Betty theme song (Rapunzel high on pizza and Ani DiFrancowitz need to stick to playing the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival/Nightmare) , and the rest of the people/writers/producers/directors that add up to the doomed hour of television that is "The L Word" CANNOT and SHOULD NOT get picked up for another season.
Save us the pain!
Oh, and you know the show is super duper guranteed bad when you are stoked on the deaf chick from Law and Order SVU appearing on it.
I don't know if the interns are writing the fourth season or what, but oh my god, it's like being hit in the head with a bag of bricks-repeatedly. Ilene Chaiken, the whole cast (minus Jennifer Beals, what do you want from me? she's a MANIAC on the floor and always will be), the Betty theme song (Rapunzel high on pizza and Ani DiFrancowitz need to stick to playing the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival/Nightmare) , and the rest of the people/writers/producers/directors that add up to the doomed hour of television that is "The L Word" CANNOT and SHOULD NOT get picked up for another season.
Save us the pain!
Oh, and you know the show is super duper guranteed bad when you are stoked on the deaf chick from Law and Order SVU appearing on it.
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